unfurling

I’m unfurling
uncurling
unfolding before your eyes
bloom
my leaves rise
I am stretching
sprawling
crawling
see how my stem grows
I am stepping
onto a slippery road
but I’m coming
becoming
being
I am
I am searching
lots of working
rising
surging
I ran
returning
relearning
turn turning
missed my turn and
I’m not
sure
where I am.
Start from scratch
made it back
just in time
for the show
words uncurling
here I’m learning
how to be
how to grow.

lg

It’s that one thing –that just—won’t give
and you’re standing there, right on that ridge
foot pressed against—the edge—right there
can’t seem to take one step—beware

But just one step—is like–a leap
A diver diving, down to the deep
hold your breath—don’t you—dare
you don’t know what -awaits—you there

Eventually you will—trip–or fall
and you’ll go flying, after all
spread you wings—start—right there
soon you’ll soar—breathe—air

lg

Is sending good vibes the same as sending prayers?
I am pushing something in your direction—
good wishes, fair tidings, like the breath that leaves my lips to join the air,
and somewhere, maybe, it’ll reach you,
tickle your lip like dandelion wishes on a windy day.
Who knows how God answers those who pray.

lg

Today there is peace.
It is not outside my window.
Outside my window there are
construction men working and
the jack hammer pounding.
There is peace.
Today.
I hear it when they pause to wipe their brow.

lg

I contain a well.
Inside me there is a pool of cool water
by which I am never dry.
I contain a fountain.
I open my lips and I spit a stream
like a geyser leaping.
I contain a leak.
My heart has collected holes
that drain down my face,
washing me clean.

lg

it’d be easy to call you an asshole
like a child who points to a man
and calls him homeless—
anybody can see that.

I know that when you were with me
you enjoyed my company.
I can tell by your eyes and your smile,
the way your hand rubbed my back and
wondered aloud what you felt about me.

I was your homework assignment that you forgot to do.
And once you remember to turn in your answer
I’ll politely respond,
“I don’t take late work.”

lg

Poems of Myself (2)

I learned to walk by
looking at my feet,
so that when I pass
someone on the street
I do not see them.
I look down at
cracked sidewalks.

I have noticed that if I
raise my eyes
I can see the faces
of those passing by.
And if you look up
it draws others to
do the same.

And if you smile
they’ll smile, too.
Almost as if there’s
nothing else they can do.
They look surprised
to be acknowledged.
I see you.

lg

DUI

Drunk drivers don’t give a shit.
We drink and we gamble,
we’re the worst of the worst.
Three Jameson’s in and we say,
“All right, I’m all good,”
and stumble to our cars
and drive away.
We sit in the car
slump over the steering wheel
and think to ourselves,
“I probably shouldn’t.”
But we put the key in the ignition
and scoot along by,
staring at the black top
and hoping that
the headlights
blaring behind us
aren’t cops.
We are on our best behavior,
we drive straight through the line
and straight through two
red lights because fuck it–
we can make it.
We drive because we don’t care
if we live or die.
We’re just trying now,
when we couldn’t before
when it mattered
but what matters more than life or death?

carnival games

I am at a carnival
throwing rings

It won’t make contact
this place is rigged

aka: this is life

..

I am a balloon
losing air
that was supposed
to go high
and now I am
floating
out
of the sky.

I am a book
on a shelf
that was supposed
to be read
and now I am
falling
onto
your head.

I am a boat
with holes
that was supposed
to cruise
and now I am
sinking
beneath
the blue.

lg

Storefront Poetry

I got a job in an art gallery, she calls it a sanctuary, a place of infinite possibilities.
If I had half the enthusiasm poured in one of her paintings I’d
have a third of the selling price.

I
There’s a void
that goes
deeper than we know
A depth
that dug
its way to our chests
I sit on the edge
and swing my
legs
drop pennies
like wishes
to see how
far they
fall
I don’t hear
them
I can’t see
I drop them
into the well
of eternity

lg

II
I’m too young
to have regrets.
I can’t help
but think
where I would be,
even now,
if I had gone right
instead of left.

lg

III
I am here—now
stretched between where I was
where I’m going
stretched between what I want
what I do
my feet spread
side to side
far apart
I can feel the seams
stretching
tearing me down
the middle ever so gently
like a string loosened
that undoes the entire
creation
But I am here—
I realize that with
a sigh of relief
and sit down
rest my feet

lg

IV
I am me
they tell you
not to be so
self-centered
but if I am not
I lose balance
and lose sight
and lose ground
and lose me.

lg

V
I’m a late bloomer
whose pedals have
opened at
the end of
September
who shivers
in November
but remains
open
and bloomed
sunning my pedals
in the cold afternoon
I made it this far
I won’t shrivel
and fall
The flower who
is last
lasts longer than
all.

lg

VI
anxiety is a fad
a trend that
follows
I have heard
tales of attacks
told triumphantly
they take pride
in their fall
I speak of my panic
and rather than
receiving help
I get a high-five

lg

VII
And all I can say after
all of this
is that one must
above all
have hope
hope that all
works out
and that all
find out
that it all
comes together
when we work
altogether
you and me
and all the earth
and nature
and everything.
All of us.

lg

VIII
it rains
and rains
and rains
and pours
but the sun
comes out
on Savannah’s
shores

lg

it’s for the birds

I’ll keep giving,
but an organ donor is useless if they’re not dead
and if they’ve given away all they have.
I only have one heart, you know.
Tear off pieces like bread,
toss one crumb to the crow and more will appear
until you’re the crazy bird lady in the park
tossing an entire loaf in one afternoon.

They’ll follow you, surround you like a dark cloud.
Buzzards circle over your home.
How do you tell them to leave if they don’t listen?
They stare at you with those stony little eyes and squaw.
How do you tell them enough with a bag of chips in your hand?
They know you are enough, they know you will supply.
Vermin do not remove themselves, the gum doesn’t fall from your shoe.
Stop what you’re doing and pick it up — it’s unsightly!

They will return, they will come back.
If not this bird, then another.
Enough is enough!
My bread is in the trash and I’m going away.
I see stony eyes watching me like birds of prey,
I swear they’re out for blood,
but when the donor is sucked dry
the buzzards come.

lg

Bud Light Poetry

Enmark sells three tallboys for $5.50

I
teasing
through texts
these words are enough
to steal my breath

lg

II
Today I have done nothing
all I’ve done is
sit in bed
but you’d be amazed
at would could be done
when you pay attention
to what’s in your head.

lg

III
See, when you had that old dinosaur phone
you made fun of people who used
social media
and then all of a sudden
I received one of your text messages,
like I do at times
when you’re drunk
and lonely.
The bubble wasn’t green,
it was blue,
which is my favorite color,
and I realized that you
have upgraded.
You have entered into the
twenty-first century with
an iphone in hand
posting pictures and sending links
you are in sync with us now,
and you have no jokes
for us who post
posts on Facebook.
You are one of us now.

lg

IV
I’ve thrown you away
but you keep coming back like
a boomerang
Maybe I should have
bought a Frisbee
that would have stayed
gone

lg

V
I keep you in my mind
you should stay there
you shouldn’t come out
like a monster
in the closet
who is more frightful
when he’s hiding
and when you appear
I’ll just laugh at you
not scream
like you’d like me to.

lg

VI
Just one part
of one thing
that makes up
a thing
that we’re all
a part
of

lg

VII
I keep texting you
hoping that you’ll notice
my affections
and four years later
you respond
to my replies
but maybe it’s
gone,
it slipped
right by.

lg

VIII
When you die you die
there’s nothing left there
no senses to tell you
if you’d like it or not
or see anyting
smell anything
taste anyting
just nothing
that’s something you can’t
handle
just darkness
and nothing
no senses
or thinking
no heaven
or redos
just
nothing

lg

IX
Overdraft fees
will be the death of me
obviously
I don’t have the money
my debts have dug
my grave
I swear I try to save
gradually
I have seven parking
tickets that rise
by the day
This is the way
the world ends
charging us until our
heads spin
and collapse,
they’ll even
charge us for that.

lg

X
Dig, dig, dig
deeper
and farther
until your arms
give out
but you dig a
little longer
shovel the dirt
put in the work
sweat on brow
sun on back
until even that’s
gone.
Now you’ve done
it
you’ve dug your
hole.
Climb, climb, climb
higher
and brighter
until your arms
give out
but you climb a
little longer
scale your sorrows
see tomorrow
covered in soot
sun in face
it has returned
to its place.
Now you’ve done
it
you’ve climbed out your
hole.

lg

XI
My meme lies
reading prayer books
and if there is a
god—I pray he’s there
for her.

lg

window shopping

I am not many things.
I have learned what I am not
like slipping on a pair of jeans that fit too snug.
I have struggled to pull them over my legs,
over my face, over my breasts,
but the material’s squeeze is tight on my skin.
Or like a shirt that fits too loose,
falling off my shoulders,
hiding me in its folds.
I have learned what I am not
by trying on many clothes.
I know what isn’t me.
I know which colors
bring out my eyes, and
I know which cut looks best on my thighs.
I’ve been window shopping,
I’m just passing by.

 

lg

Disconnection

Telephone lines
with little wirey cords
blooming out
like a snake’s head
its body sputtering like
an old car right before
the engine dies
but it ran really well, it did!
Went far out, long distance
the phone would still
sing to life because it
was connected.
Kinda like the way parents
are before they separate.
I had a job to pay for the
bills to pay for the
lights, the
connection, this
connection,
this line has been disconnected.
Sputtering to life like a,
like your mom’s shoulders shuddering
and your dad’s twitchy eye,
twitching when he lies
twitching, flickering,
then dead.
Nothing.
Like disconnected telephone lines.