I’ve recently had my personality analyzed by two people who are close to me. Both told me in passing and their conclusions were both accurate. Hearing them wrap me up in metaphors helped me to know myself better. It’s good to hear how others see you.
Tonight I was speaking with my cousin who lives with my grandma and me. She said that I was exuberant and easy to talk to, but then, and she explained this hesitantly, admitting that it was initially off-putting, that were times where I went into “neutral mode.” She explained it like auto-pilot. “And then you come back to life.” She thought the problem was her, and had wondered if I was mad, but then came to realize that I was simply in my head.
And here we have a rather uncanny metaphor for my states of personality. I feel that I am empathetic and understanding one moment, and then I fall into this self-centered, driven, depressive state of mind, and then I come out of it with a positive light and motivation and vision, and up, and down, and up and down. We discussed it further and she suggested that maybe it corresponds with my writing. I think it does. When I feel inspired and full of passion is when I’m writing, and I try to share it with others. When I feel blocked, I become distant.
Now, my best friend in the entire world told me this one. Seriously, she is number one, and she’s incredibly receptive and understanding. She told me, “Lindsey, you’re a butterfly who is full of life and fluttering everywhere, and then you land on a flower and hide yourself for a while and right now you’re camouflaging and pollinating.” Then she hugged me and told me that I always fly back for all to see.
Every day were should learn about ourselves and strive to be better.
Today I was sitting in the park and realized that I’ve been distant from everybody and that I’ve been self-centered. It affects my empathy and I’ve noticed a certain uninterest brewing in my life. I text all my family, told them I loved them, and made plans to see them on Tuesday. Then I brought home dinner and ate with mimi and talked with her. Lately I’ve been shutting myself in my room or staying with my best friend, being quite down about everything. (Bless her for being there for me.)
It’s time for me to fly.